Tammy Helfrich

Life begins right where you are.

Who Wants to Go on a Date?


Photo credit: Creative Commons (sean dreilinger)

I’ve had multiple different conversations about marriage lately. It’s something I love to talk about, because my husband and I have had our share of difficult times. People look at us now and say, “You have a great marriage. I wish I had that.” Which is when I promptly tell them that it wasn’t always this way. In fact, for a large part of our marriage, it wasn’t even close to what we have now. And the challenges continue to show up. But how we handle them has changed dramatically.

I’m going to be asking a series of questions on the blog, which started from conversations I keep having with different people. It’s a topic that I’ve written about before, and one that is on my heart lately. I hope you’ll join in on the discussion.

Here’s today’s question:

Who wants to go on a date?

Do you have a regular date night with your spouse?

If not, why not?

What is stopping you?

I’ll be honest. My husband and I have been horrible about this lately. We know it is so important to our marriage, but life tends to get in the way. We’re making efforts to keep it a priority. It isn’t easy with our schedules, but we know how much it helps us when we do it. We went out last night, and it was exactly what we needed. Time to get away and talk and be attentive to each other.

If you want to go on a date, but your spouse hasn’t been showing any effort to do so, try switching up your ideas. Don’t always suggest something you want to do. Surprise them, and offer to do something you know they will love but isn’t your favorite idea of a good time. Spouses typically have a hard time saying no to that.

Keep it simple at first. Go out to dinner. Go to a movie. If this hasn’t been a normal practice for you, then don’t get caught up in trying to make it something magnificent right away. Just break up your routine and get out together without the kids or without another couple.

Now it’s your turn. What’s your favorite date night? We’d love to hear your suggestions.





  1. We do have regular date nights. It was hard when the kids were younger but we definitely take advantage now. Some of our fun ideas (we don’t always do romantic ones):

    -trampoline park
    -comedy club
    -Cinopolis (luxury movies)
    -Starbucks at Barnes and Noble and couples book browsing for a fun q&a session
    -Roller skating/ice skating rink

    :) Date nights are fun. They can be a time for romance and connecting, a time out from life to just enjoy each other, or a time to have fun like a child without a worry in the world.

  2. Our regular date night is Karaoke on Monday nights. It’s how we met and we both love to sing so we really enjoy it. Sometimes we do pizza and a netflix movie and that can actually be very satisfying. One rule we have is no facebook or phones while on date night and it helps us to stay focused on why we are on date night in the first place. To be on a date! Great idea for a post, Tammy! This subject is also very dear to me!

  3. No we don’t. We kind of got out of the habit of it as the kids were growing up. We need to get back to it.

  4. My wife and I do go on a weekly date night. This has become a lot easier as our kids have gotten older. It’s been a great way to keep our marriage connected and going strong.

  5. We used to be very committed to this. As my daughter’s autism & epilepsy have continued to create social challenges for her, it is more and more difficult to find people who are willing and trained to be with her. We are lucky to get one date every three months…and are feeling the pain of the loss of this time for us to just be a couple

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