Do you have one?
A song that you can’t sing the words to because they are stuck in your throat?
A song with words that puncture your soul and won’t come out of your mouth no matter how hard you try?
Lyrics that bring you to tears? Every. Single. Time.
For most of my life, that song was It Is Well With My Soul. If you’re not familiar with the song, it is a very old hymn. The story behind the man who actually wrote the hymn is incredible as well.
But, I couldn’t sing it. Just hearing the song would move me to tears. I’d try to sing it, but the words would not come out.
The biggest reason was because it was my dad’s favorite song. He absolutely loved it, and sang it joyfully. It reminds me of him, and sometimes, that in itself is just plain hard. But there was another reason. I KNEW it was not well with my soul.
I knew I was broken. I was lost. I was confused, and full of doubts, and unsure of what it even meant to TRULY believe those words. How could someone absolutely know that it was well with their soul?
I’ll never forget the day a few years ago when I could finally sing it in church. Our worship teams arrange the old hymns and make them very unique, and it is so cool to have the history of the old song and lyrics with a new twist on it. I sang it loud and proud that day. I cried tears of thankfulness and overwhelming gratitude for a church community and leaders and friends who loved me and helped me finally realize how God truly feels about me and who He’s designed me to be.
Am I still broken? Absolutely. We all are. Am I still confused and often have my doubts? For sure. But, thankfully, I’m no longer lost. Sometimes, I am still absolutely stunned at where this path has led. But, I am eternally grateful.
This past weekend, our worship team led us in this familiar hymn. But, our amazing leader, Ben Thomas, rewrote the second verse. It really spoke to me, and compliments the song well.
Do you have a song? I’d love to hear what it is.