When was the last time you went on a date with your spouse?
My husband and I dated for a long time and were married for six years before we had our first child. We went on dates as a married couple all the time. Of course, we didn’t think of them as dates because it was just what we did. We spent time together. We played golf every weekend. We loved traveling when we could.
Then, we had kids.
All of sudden there wasn’t much time for being alone anymore. I didn’t think about this, as I was so happy to be a Mom and learn all about this wonderful new little baby who made us a family. Our priorities shifted. It wasn’t as essential or as easy to go out to dinner all the time, or to go to a movie, or to play golf. Every waking minute we were not working, we wanted to spend with our son.
We also didn’t live near family when we had our first son. So, there were no grandparents to watch him so we could spend time together. And finding a babysitter at that young of an age wasn’t something I was very interested in. We simply stopped making time to be alone as a couple.
Obviously, this is something that happens to most couples when they first become parents. It’s natural and is good to get a schedule and routine with your child. And treasuring all of those “first” moments is something that you can never experience again. We didn’t want to miss any of it.
Unfortunately, the pattern of not making time as a couple continued throughout the years. Once you stop dating each other, it’s easy to forget how much you liked it and needed it. My husband would try to tell me, but as a new Mom, I was focused on one little guy instead of both of the men in my life.
I look back now and realize that we should have continued to make time together, even if it was short, simple dates for dinner. We do that now and it makes a world of difference. Yes, it is much easier now because the kids are older. And life does not seem so incredibly chaotic as it did when the kids were young.
Is it easy to carve time in your schedule to date? Usually not.
Is it easier to just stay home and relax without planning a date? Most of the time.
Is it worth it to carve out time to be with just your spouse without your kids? Absolutely!
What are some of the unique things you do to ensure that you keep a regular date night with your spouse? I’d love to hear from you.